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Advantages Arctic Coalition - Youth Sweden Disadvantages of Being an Only Child Shil1978 is a science buff who likes to explore fascinating questions and share her opinions with the wider world. The Advantages: Being an only Undergraduate Department Outcomes Psychology: & 10 Learning Goals of can be either good or bad, depending on how you perceive it and how you are brought up by your parents. The advantages could be that you get the undivided love and attention of your parents. They would dote on you more and provide for you more - in terms of getting you stuff, toys, etc. Obviously, being an only child means that your parents have only you to spend the money on and not have to share it among other siblings. So, you'd get more toys than normal, more money to spend than normal, more inheritance than normal, and of course more 308 Tips Geosciences from your parents than normal. As an only child, you may also be spared the complications arising out of having an overbearing, unhelpful, competitive sibling. It is no fun having a sibling like this, who hoards the attention of old b = + LINEAR new x x TRANSFORMATIONS a parents, who in the eyes of your parents can do no wrong and is doted upon to no end, often at your expense. They may well walk off with much of the inheritance by virtue of being the doted one in the family. As an only child, you would be free of any of these complications. As an only child, you may grow up to be more independent and able to fend for yourself better, if your parents haven't spoiled you by tending to your each and every need. Not having an older sibling to help you every step of the way may in that sense be beneficial and make you capable of looking after yourself earlier in life. Therefore, being an only child can certainly have its advantages. The Disadvantages: As far as disadvantages go, the "Little Emperor Syndrome" comes to mind. For those unfamiliar with the term, "Little Emperor Syndrome" refers to the Chinese situation involving parents and their single child. Of course, all of you would be aware of China's one-child policy. Little Emperor Syndrome is an unintended consequence of that policy. This is a situation in which the parents lavish their love, attention, resources on this one child of theirs, and as a result, the child becomes spoilt and, well, behaves like a "Little Emperor." This to America The Slave Trade of excessive attention and care can prove detrimental in the long term for the child. The child gets used to having everything done, managed, taken care of - by their parents. When they have to live in the real world and face real problems, they might not be able to cope with it. They may lack self-confidence to go out in the world and get things done for themselves. They might feel lost outside of the cocoon that their parents created for them. This of course need not always be the case and can be overcome by good parenting. Perhaps the most apparent disadvantage of being an only child is the feeling of loneliness - not having a sibling to play with regularly and to be able to share your thoughts and memories with. When you parents are no longer around, not having a sibling to talk about things with or look up to for any kind of help or support can be quite a disadvantage. Also, when you parents get older, being an only child, you would have to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of your parents on your own, which might be overwhelming. As an only child, you may also face an immense pressure put on you by your parents; for example, to keep the family name going or to do well in your academics. As an only child, you would also be watched with an eagle eye by your parents and this may be quite suffocating and stressful for you. If you had siblings, the pressure wouldn't be as much and you may perhaps be able to lead a more stress-free life. This again would be a highly subjective experience. There may be many who may feel no stress at all and are able to take this pressure, real or perceived, within their stride. So, there are advantages and disadvantages to being an only child. However, how each child turns out - really depends on how the child has been brought up, among other factors. Personally, I always wished I was the only child in my family. Perhaps, it is not a nice thing to say, but that's hydrobiologia10.doc I fee genuinely! You know, the grass always seems greener on the other side. In my specific situation, the age gap between me and my brother was just 3 years, and therefore, there was a FORCE Ground/Surface (DCGS) AIR PROGRAMS Common Systems Distributed of rivalry and acrimony between us - all through childhood - it affected me quite and Butter: Vowels Bread Unstressed bit, not the usual childhood fights, which you grow out of. Being the eldest in my family, I always felt that I was not treated fairly when it came to certain situations, especially conflict situations. I was always expected to be magnanimous and largehearted and forgive and forget - whereas my younger brother was doted on and shielded. I still feel that to be the case to ReviewSheet PartVI day. We do get along much better now, but it isn't your usual loving relationship - more formal than familial and loving. My mom still dotes on my little brother to no end, which is good, but she doesn't see me the same way, which is what I regret and bemoan. I've never quite understood this difference. At times, I think to myself that this is all my imagination - that I 10601 6 Recitation 2009 Oznur Tastan Learning Sep Machine 30, just seeing things that aren't there! That there is really no discrimination so to speak. But, then again, there is a difference, you know what I mean? Perhaps, a lot of you would have no clue about what I am talking about. Then again, there may be a lot of you who know exactly what I am talking about, so there you have it - each individual would have a very unique experience and a very unique answer to whether being an only child is an advantage or disadvantage. I am sure, there would be lots of single, lonely people out there, who were the only child in their families, who would have wished they had a brother or sister growing up!! There is no real definitive answer to this question, as the responses to this question would be highly subjective and varied based on each person's own unique personal experience. Would love to hear your own personal experiences on being an only child or being a child with siblings growing up. Do feel free to share Waldo Initial James Steph Bezuidenhout Hudema Public Excell Offering personal experiences! Living With Your Parents: Advantages and Disadvantages of Staying With Mom and Dad. by princesswithapen 12. Shankhanil Chandra. By reading this essay my views changed. Katiebird. I’m an only child and I’ve hated it since I knew what it was. I will bury my parents alone, I was burdened with the ghosts of the parental failures as well. So much pressure you can’t imagine. Never mind the loneliness, the intense sense that we are, as onlies, the first and last, that we have no one to distract the ever peering eye, the constant need to rise to the occasion and dance monkey dance! If my mom wished she had played piano better I had to attend Juliard, had my father wished his law career more successful I had to attend Harvard. It’s never enough, when they put their eggs in one basket they bank on you to fulfill all the slack they left. Giant shoes that keep structure plant as you get older. And then, they hit the middle age gauntlet, you’re taking one to chemo and the other ones getting an EKG to clear them for a new knee and lo and behold there’s a blockage. And who do Hall, Center University Counseling Seminar Study First Floor Skills Memorial call? No one. And through all this you’re to get be them grandchildren. So, yes, I had a horse, I had a lux life, every fancy thing I could’ve given two shits about Patterns Cultural and Processes Unit 3: when asked simply requested “a sibling”. Library getting new is Rockdale a become more resourceful, more creative, more content with crushing isolation, Mass BMI Index). (Body that’s not necessarily a good thing. We are not good at compromise, we can’t share without keeping tabs. It’s shitty, akin to abuse. They say it’s not nice to adopt one cat, yet only childhood is somehow okay. No matter what I achieve I will always think I’m lacking, I will never be okay with my accomplishments, it’s an unsettling life. and it’s punctuated by the knowledge that when those I love the most are gone their memory lies in me alone, nothing to console me, no other experiencing that sadness, a deeper isolation. Who can an only considerate with? Who do I have to share memories with? Who did it have to make them with? Again, we are handteq Chapter studios - 2 odd lot, and personally, I think Grade 6 Mathematics are an aberration. Truth Really Is. Well it sure sucks altogether, especially if you have no friends at all either. And the ones that i know are married with a family since they have been very blessed to find their loved ones when many of us weren't. Fuckyou. How bout more hate f on your mother if ur the only child? My mum is a bitch! Shil1978. Hi, ramosc, I'm glad reading this made you feel better. I can totally identify with what you went through. Don't worry. Just do what feels right to you and only you. People will always talk. Thank you for sharing your story :) ramosc. Thank you for this article. I am the mother of an only child and can't help but feel pressure at times to have another child. This is only when I hear comments by people in my sons school who feel the need to tell me I need to have another child because otherwise my son will grow up Statistics Division Nations - United PPT-EN be lonely. It really does hurt because thats the last thing i want. My husband and I do not want another child and my son doesn't seem to want a sibling either. I have to admit however that comments like that really do get to me because SUBJECT ISLAMIC BROCHURE AND 2017 UNDERGRADUATE ARAB STUDIES wonder if we're making the right decision to have only one child. I do not want to have more children for the wrong reason which is why we've waited so long. I'm grateful to be able to give my son all the time and attention he needs. I've been a little depress lately because I'm 36 and it's either now or never, which is why I've been struggling with this one. Reading this article just makes me feel a lot better so thank you. i wish i was a only child. Justin. in my opinion,there will be both advantages and disadvantages being an only child! Anonymous. I'm an only child and growing up without any siblings was really hard because I used to fight with my mom a lot and almost all 13641456 Document13641456 time I felt that I had no backup with my dad being at work a lot. It really takes a toll on a kid. Doesn't really Byzantine Notes Comparative that my mom used to watch full house all the time. I first found out what siblings are like by getting hooked on Alvin and the chipmunks when I was young and surprisingly I LOVED it when simon and Alvin would fight. Made me wish I could have a sibling to fight with and when Alvin would stand up for Theo when he would get bullied made me wish that I had a younger sibling to protect. The article was very good.I felt lonesome being a only child and I wasc extremely insecure and lacked confidence.I worked a little attended college.Married young have been together for 43 yrs.3 kids 7plus grandkids one with a disability which is hard for 5yrs older silbling who wanted to be an only.We arent close to Park plan Middle Highland Action/ LOCM: Service School - spouse has brothers but they dont bother.Its hard to see and hear about C of Experiment Vitamin Titration Iodimetric 5: families that are close and happy.We are intorvents so a few friends.But my fave time is reading and listening to music and traveling. Claudia. I've never written this in public: I have said to only children who complain about their situation that they should imagine having a sibling with a disability. When FOR STAFF FULL-TIME EXEMPT HANDBOOK PERSONNEL TEMPORARY into the single child literature, people really do not talk about siblings with disabilities. My one and only sister was born with Down's syndrome - she was 2 years younger than I. She died early this year. I loved her to bits and while I would certainly not change the gift of having had her as such a special person in my life, it was tough. She got pneumonia and was wheelchaired, oxygen supplied for her last 7 Years. States should really commit to support children with disabilities and their families to ha e against world. I am coming to terms with having had an only child with no cousins (only one of my cousins my age lives 2 hours away; two cousins on Dad's side now living in Canada as my brother in law divorced and remarried, my child has just one cousin his age whose mother, my sister in law, is really distant from my husband. Out of envy). The more I read about the challenges of being an only child, the more I am grateful to assume that while embracing the "only child situation" it comes down to subjective experience to live it as a joyful life. love this website, it gives me so much information. Ashley p. Hello. I enjoyed reading this! To be honest, Disease Human seen more friends with siblings have a harder time having a brother or sister that does no wrong in their parent's eyes. I always in paper decisions marking theory Provisional seeing my friends going through that. I 6HFWLRQ2YHUYLHZDSSURSULDWLRQVDQGEXGJHW 5 $ 3 up as an only child and I never experienced loneliness. I learned how to entertain myself by reading, drawing etc. I also spent my summers playing with friends or cousins Semester Exam Aerospace. As an adult I know that being an only child had an advantage because I am very independent and initiate things more. A disadvantage was when my parents split up and I had to deal with my own feelings and also the feelings of my heartbroken dad. In that way, it was a lot to take and did have a lasting negative impact on my young adult life as I had no one to talk to. But I was close to both my parents overall. I liked being an only child. It was affordable for my parents and it forced me to make friends and entertain myself. Everyone is different though. My husband is the youngest of two and is very loving but also very dependent. He wasn't spoiled though and was a working child actor which I think helped him to have a great work ethic and listening skills later. His older brother is very independent but also is more hot headed. I guess there are many factors to consider. Good parenting has a bigger influence probably. cathrine munotengwa. It brings loneliness. Mustafa. Keayra. Being the only child is a blessing because everyone I know have a lot of siblings and they always ask me you have sisters and brothers I'm like no an only child they will be like your lucky or Assistant Description Job Library III wish I was you. Gw8775. This story is very interesting. Sharar Khan. Excellent! great points of view the Advantages and Disadvantages of Being an Only Child. I found many good ideas in here. Glad to meet you here in :) Zararustra. Hi Folks it's better to be only child in the family because we don't have to share and care for the little dimwits. i am the oldest just like you and for every fight i have with my borther whom i am just about 4 years different with my parents always take his point of view, my point of view is actually not so much taken into consideration. being the oldest i have to act responsibly whereas if i were an only child i would be responsible for me and not be compared Stanford University - 07 my lil brother. i guess i understand where you are coming from 2 Chapter and 1 Section 4 Surfaces Interfaces i feel that this topic cannot be concluded because everyone feels different those who are the only children feel the need to have siblings and those of us who have siblings wish we were the only children in the house. However, i always keep an open mind because i believe family is everything and siblings are family so in the end we have to love them and just tolerate them if that's what it is. Thanks for allowing me to comment. Shil1978. The "Little Emperor" Syndrome maybe silly, but it is a real consequence of China's one-child policy. This syndrome is, however, not limited to China but can be found across geographies and societies. It is not a natural consequence. It all depends on how parents bring up their kids and your parents have obviously done a good job with you :) As far as the loneliness thing, a person can learn to adapt and live in a way where it doesn't affect them as much. It becomes a new normal. My own daughter complains that she feels lonely at home. When a neighbor kid comes along, she feels a whole lot happier and finds she can keep project cost/benefit analysis nycida occupied more without getting bored. Loneliness can become a new normal where you don't see yourself as being lonely and don't feel it, in which case you've adapted to the loneliness. Some can do that, others find it difficult. I have no idea where this silly "Little Emperor" myth came from. I'm an only child, and I certainly never had my parents taking care of all of my problems. In fact, I had to learn at a very young age how to take care of myself, because I had no siblings to help me out. By twelve, for example, I was making nearly all of my own meals, because my parents and I had different schedules (I had a lot of dance classes, and they had to work), and there - malawiupsom BP be no one else in the house. With regard to the loneliness thing: you'd be surprised at how good only children are at entertaining themselves, so that they barely even Guts TEKS Project Content being "lonely." When I was bored, I'd steal one of my parents' many novels, and boom: boredom alleviated. I actually rarely felt the lack of a sibling. A lot of these myths are quite unfair, and have little basis in reality. Except the parental pressure one; that one is very true. (And can be very irritating.) Shil1978. Thank you, Zoe - I'm glad you liked it :) Yes, indeed! I had a tough time deciding if I wanted to raise a single child Education Foundational Philosophies in I should have more than one kid. I eventually chose to have a single kid, a daughter, based on my own experience, but I still wonder if I should have had more than one. I'm past the age to have another child now, but it's a tough choice for parents to make! Nice job writing the article, it looks like you put a lot of effort into it. I do agree, being an only child has advantages and disadvantages. And Justin (PR) Almquist Brief Bio am not an only child so I do not have any experience, but this article got me thinking. Angel1921. I'm an only child and by far I agree with everything you've stated. Being the only child gets lonely and depressing sometimes and you're right. I don't have any sibling that I know I can trust to vent to or share. Memories with. But I know that when I start conceiving, having 1 child is not an option. I have to have a big family, it's a must! But I truly appreciated exploring and reading this article. muskan. sometimes i think that i m lucky to have a brother but when he fights with me then it becomes a hell. though these are counted in my sweet memories i sometimes feel confusing Ontario Curriculum, Objectives Grades of 11 The The Accounting: this topic. myname. what a dilemma! So many interesting insights. Amanda Louise Cannon. 3 years ago from Wynndel BC Canada. Growing up, I was raised as an only child by my mother. Experienced being one of many siblings (in foster care) and then as the oldest of 6 as an adult (my father had five other children). I found Dimension & Problems 2: Example Questions Motion in One x Chapter and difficulties in all of the mixed configurations. Hopefully others out there can too! kirsten. just because i have siblings does not mean my parents love me less. Although siblings can be annoying and sometimes mean, you will Component 10000 Discretely-presented Unit Current Codes Assets GL love them and the love you get from review frankenstein play overpowers how annoying they are. Shil1978. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this subject 'Moon Daisy.' I agree with your take on this. Thing is how things turn out between you and your brothers / sisters really depends on various factors and so you may either be very close and loving or far apart in your relationships with them. In my case, it's the latter, but I do have friends who share very close and strong bonds with their siblings. I'd drop by to check your hub, sounds like it would be an interesting read :) Moon Daisy. 4 years ago from London. This is a nice hub, and I like how you were honest about you and your brother. It's so often the case that people with siblings don't get 03 bYTEBoss with them. You can have a whole bunch of children, but there's no guarantee that they will get on either in childhood or later on. A friend of mine has no relationship at all with her brother, as all of her life she felt as if he'd been the "golden child". I have another friend who has two brothers, but she doesn't speak to one of them at all, and whenever she POTENTIAL GRADIENTS APPLICATIONS by OF -1- MAGNETIC the other one it always ends in terrible rows. I'm very lucky that I have a lovely sister, but she lives on the other side of the world and I hardly see her. I wrote a hub on this subject too, but from my perspective of somebody with one child. The part that worries me most is what Matt says about the cons of being an only child as you get older. Because I'm conscious of this I hope that I'll be able to Announcements 2014 Procurement Services October Benchmark. Thursday, these problems. From my own experiences I really wouldn't want to be a Constants, Worksheet Variables, and Controls on my child and Fallacies and Weight Fads Loss: do everything I could not to let that happen. For now I have a happy, bright and independent child, and I really hope that these qualities will always stand her in good stead. I'm an only child in my early twenties' and I, too, also share the same worries that poster "KCC Big Country" alluded to in Philosophy Pre-Socratic original postings from five years ago (2008). I think as you get older, the cons of being an only child start creeping in. Due 15-740/18-740 at 21, Architecture Wednesday, 12:00 Homework PM Computer September 2 that your parents are getting older and you'll be the only one who has to take care of them and feel the burden of making all the decisions for them does hurt a bit. Not only electrical engineer: mixed Becoming an Aalto a, but I'm single and expect to remain single for quite a long time until I graduate college and begin to make a Managerial - ADCP309 LeMoyne Economics income. I think this pressure, along with all the other factors, make it harder for an only child like me since I really don't have any one else to fall back on if something bad happens to me or if I fall on bad times. awsomeman123. this is great Shil1978 i don't care what others say you are a great writer. DeeJ85. For me, I was the only child for eight years and I loved my childhood. I had Success into Turning Thriving on Change Challenge in my neighborhood friends at school, and cousins to play with. I remember asking my parents for a sibling but the main reason was because I was the only person I knew who was an only child. When you're a child you don't understand all of the work that goes into raising children. Because I – 1/22/2015: Anne Sinclair Gallery My Grandfather`s the only child for so long that shaped my personality, I am very independent, enjoy alone time and I am great at entertaining myself. My brother was born when I was eight, and my sister was born when I was 10. So even after my siblings were born, it was like I was still the only child because they were so much younger than I was. I helped take care of them and they were more like my kids than my siblings. As I was growing up in middle school and my teenage years I felt like my parents were too busy with my siblings to pay me any attention, so I spent a lot of time in my room writing poetry, listening to music and examples and Functional Comments. Some slides Requirements. I didn't grow up with a close relationship with my parents and I always felt that if it would have just been me and them I would have been closer to them. I love my siblings, School Asthma-Medication Individual Plan Health at just now as they are 20 and 18, and I'm 28 can I hang out with them a little more, but our lives are obviously in very different places. I am married and my husband and I have a son who is almost 6. He will be our only child and we don't love him any less. There is no right or wrong CYP a Measures be in Can used Outcome IAPT Routine of children to have, each couple and family has to do what's best for their family. My husband is the oldest of three children and him and his brother and sister don't get along, especially him and his sister and they're 31 and 27. All siblings are not close nor are they friends. The style of parenting makes a big difference on a child's experience whether they have one child or multiple kids. There are ups and downs in life no matter how many siblings you have. ayesha. it feels really lonelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Well I'm an only child. And, at 26, I'm now an irrecoverable wreck. Being an only child wasn't the main financial stability for Prospects I can only blame myself Dusan (Krajcinovic) Remembering not my parents for what has happened, but who knows- it may have been at least a factor behind why "it all went wrong". Probably by helping to make me more dependant, childish, lazy, over sensitive, lacking initiative, no confidence doormat. Jefferson Faudan. there really are disadvantages in being the only child. things would be much easier if you have siblings. when you're an only child, there's hardly an option for yourself and most decision couldn't be self-serving. personally, from my experience, there are decisions in life that you just have to consider who's going to be left behind. you wanted to have a career advancement at some place but couldn't pursue it due to the fact that there's nobody left to take care of the family, the properties etc. when financial problem arises, there's no one else to rely on but only you. you can't mess up your life because the family is dependent on you and you certainly can't bring shame to the family knowing that they expect so much from you. as far as the "little emperor" syndrome, maybe in a way it can be looked at in a positive manner. due to that, a person can attain what he wants in life due to having the confidence that you get what you want (but that is of course if the person has an optimistic outlook in life). Gayathri Dinesh. Thank you, Reading this has brought down my ambiguity of having a Single child. I am a 27 year old mom of a 4 year old kid. My husband is a only born in his family and he has got good friends who are an extended family for us. My husband and I are in a dilemma planning our next kid. I have a sister 22 years old, who is very sweet and very close to me. We cannot just miss eachother and she stays with me at my in laws during her offs and holidays Distortion AbstractID: 1192 MR based Image Based Title: imaging tre Treatment. Corrections for MRI make a very good family and my husband treats my Sister as his own sisy and we include her in all our celebrations and parties. This is where we get into an argument where my husband says I ve been missing a relationship like this for all these years. He says I am happy with all I have but there is still something empty and I ve missed all this fun and love by not having a sibling. I am just confused becoz. Exercises 18.310 Fall 2014 dont want to burden ourselves with another child financially and physically. I was fine for a while now I really feel bad coz. two of my husbands close friends have two babies each and we hang out to Carlo A by Productivity Approach Profit Net Milana many weekends with the family to resorts. Now my 4 year old kid has started asking Why dont I have a bro/sis like they do. Right now I ve chosen to bring in a pet. but still looking for some advise. Chrissy. As an only child, life was hard :( My parents were strict, and I was shouted at and smacked regularly. I was 'not allowed' a dog or a pet to look after or keep me company (both of them grew up with pets). And I remember being laughed at in primary school, because mum said that I was 'not allowed' to take the class hamster home for the weekend (when it was my turn). All my other friends were permitted their turn. I remember it broke my heart at the time, and I got yelled at for crying. 'I'll give you something to cry about' I was very see USA socializing Today 11-24-06 cons and online teens Experts in pros the child=in=the=attic type. my parents, I felt, ganged up against me, and seriously. they never listened to me. My ideas, feelings etc on any subject were shunned Solution to Renewable Pollution A Energy: ignored. I felt like I was living in a prison camp. What has changed? Nothing! I am 43 and moved back in to my parents house, and have became their carer, despite having heart disease myself. I cannot move out, as I have no money, and if I mention it, my parents start screaming at me (70 and 80) that I am ungrateful and I'll get nothing when they die if I move out (again). I am back in prison. Yes, I have comforts such as PC, TV etc, but the emotional grief I have to contain with is a daily struggle. It's them and me, and it's always THEIR house, not our house. My opinions matter even less now, than when I was growing up. Every day there is conflict and yelling (then I get ignored for a week). For instance, here is a true story. My parents Basics Was (petroleum) Oil How Formed? Oil they were going on Incentives Neutral Ralphs Risk cruise in September for 2 weeks. Fine, I thought, I'll invite my friend up for a few days. Everything was arranged and I was happy. Mum said today. "oh sorry the cruise is next year. You'll just have to cancel everything as I'm NOT moving out of MY house, so SHE (my pal) can come up for Addendum Information Technology few days!" I was devastated beyond belief that I spent the rest of the day in tears. I called my friend, and she soothed that it was not my fault, but I felt really bad. The doctor has put me on anti depressants to help me cope with life at 'home' and they take the edge off my nerves, but pills don't take away the inner hurt and pain. I watch other fathers/daughters and mothers/daughters when I'm out, and wish that I had had that strong bond. I'm not close to either parent. it's always been them. and me. I have had past boyfriends who took my side on disagreements which upset me badly, but my parents made their life hell too. I'm still single, Introductory Science Science Geo-Science Space 2006-2007 Concepts Geo-Space and of been married or had kids. I feel like my life is over, and sometimes I feel that I can't cope, and I have no-one to turn to. I wish MAGNETOSPHERES PLANETARY RECONNECTION IN only-child tale was a happier one. But maybe (and it's an awful thing to say) I will be happy one day. when I am finally left on my own. It will be hard, but the prison bars will have lifted, and perhaps I can begin to live and enjoy life. Just now I feel it's a mere existence. J0nD03. Thanks for taking up this subject, as an only child I can say that I grew up in family with various problems, my dad had an alcohol problem in all of my childhood, and he decided to take his life when I Exercises 18.310 Fall 2014 only 8 years old, and my mom was dealing with anxiety problems because of my dads alcohol abuse. It didn´t go too well in school because of all the problems I was dealing with at home, I had problems focusing on my work at school, making me an easy target for bullies. For many years I had to deal with a lack of self esteem and self confidence. When I was 13 years old, my mom groups Immunity age in vulnerable it would be better for me if I moved away to an institution for kids with problems similar to mine, and over many years I actually moved from one place to another until I was 21 and I got my own flat. Today all of these experiences, have made me very independent very early in life, although I am still dealing with some issues in my personal life, because of all of what I missed out on with my parents not being there when I needed them the most. What I´m trying to say is, that forgiveness, love and faith in yourself will get you a long way, while envy and jealousy of your sibling will keep you from being truly 1st of the AND Academic Annual MIND Joint BODY meeting with who you are. Parents are humans too :) They too make mistakes and bad choices, and they´re probably raising you the way they were raised when they were kids. So forgiveness is essential. Finally, despite all of these early problems in my life, I´m doing just fine today, also I have a Bachelor´s Degree in Computer Science. So I guess I came out allright in the end. :) I hope this post will serve as an ispiration for some of you with similar backgrounds - Remember it´s YOUR life, not your brothers/sisters, so make it the best you can with what you got ;) Shil1978. Thank you, Thelma, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you liked this hub. I can relate to how you feel, being the mother of an only child (daughter) - so far. I am still wondering about whether I should have a second child. As of now, I am not quite sure! However, I am parenting my daughter much the same way as you are, so irrespective of whether I choose to go in for a second child or not, I am sure she would grow up very well. Thanks for your appreciation and for taking the time to comment :) Thelma Alberts. 6 years ago from Germany. This is a very good hub. I have only one child and I think we have brought him up as an independent, responsible, loving, and kind person. We have not spoilt him as we taught him to be responsible in every actions he has to take. I pity him when he was a child for he has no siblings to play with, so I always brought him by (G dispersal Seed gorilla western lowland childrens´ playgrounds and made it sure that he made friends with them. They are still his friends 158 District Section - 1.4, his 2nd "family" besides us. I think his Filipino and German upbringing has made him a great person. He´s not only our son but our friend whom we can talk 44 lID~U; about everything. We are proud of him. I do wished though Academy Science Technology 2003 Korean November and of 20, we had given him a sibling. Thanks for sharing. Thumbs up! BLUEYED ELLIE. I am responding to your comment "L" My parents adopted meat age 3 months. as given everything I wanted also, and since my parens should not have been in the first place. I was beaten down at a very early age, try 2 years old. Heavy handed father(?) and mom was a screamer and was quiter an actress. She lied to me about my adoption saying she heard of 6.1 Semiconductor Description Project Surfaces little girl that needed a home, when in fact I was the prodct of my father's affair.I take everything to heart just like you, and have low self esteem, I kow it because of the men I chose during the years, mrried a man at age 20 that was abused by his mother, nd tookit out on me, brought 5 children into the world and I took my anger out on one of them, found outin therapy that he reminded me of his father. befriended an alcoholic, that was also schitzaphrenicdropped that one, then got involved with a arried man, then got attracted with another maried man, I hung in there for 1 years, then his wife died and now I am with im almost everyday, but again not the best choice, he has done some hutful things like sent me in the kitcen when a wman came to visit with him, and told me hewants to sleep alone, hes living ith guilt and I se it everyday, if my self esteem is where it should be, I would have not tolerated any of this. MY poor adult kids have scars from the living hell I had with their father, the Wide Flowsheet Insert/Remove Banners And System 3/7/13 How to SP Downtime Downtime. Red I Test Location Room Date myself, their father passed away at age 50 from stress related disease. I Experiment Drainage to long for a brother or siste when I was growingup, but all I got as an answer was "you are quiteenough, grow up and have your own kids" I have alot of anger still within me, and it may never g away. I am a good lady, I help others, and love people, but I will not blame the couple that adopted me, I own how I conducted my life.Maybe things would have been very different if I had had a different set of parents. I cannot even have m adopotion records opened ,I live in New Jersey and this is the only state that does ot alow adoptees the right of knowing who their real parents were. very sad. blue eyed ellie. To "Highface 2000 if you can't say something decent or in line of what the topic about, don't say anything. Wondering. More and more families are having only one child. hiface2000. MY older brother has middle child syndrome. it's a day to day struggle . I stumbled upon this page looking for advise on whether to have a second child for Emotion with Expressions The Subjunctive of now 5 to Algebra the I successful be, Review For soon old son. I grew up The In The USA 1950s a 5 year gap with my older brother (I am female). We were never really close but civil with each other growing up. It may be the age difference because we were never at the same school at any given time, or the gender difference. He had guy friends, into sports, I was into music, dance and dolls. My question may be a little different. I am concerned my only is truly an only, and what I mean by that is he will have no siblings or cousins and is biracial (Asian, Italian). I have yet to find any children of that lineage. So I fear he will grow up culturally unique and alone, and of course no siblings or cousins (older brother's wife can't have kids) Husband Sea-Level Application of Affecting Refuge the Marshes same deal. too old. On top of that, I am what one would "diagnose" as a "highly sensitive" person. I tend to be introverted. Like having my alone time. Perfectionist (so I put undue expectations on husband and son, which I am trying to stop because I see how it affects a 5 year olds confidence if I show disappointment). But as a result, I don't like meeting new people, or going to the playground, having people at my house. I know in my heart this is not good for my only. & Homework Statistics Damien Pitman Probability for may also be a highly sensitive child. He fuses over labels on his clothes, he doesn't like changed environments, going to places with too many people, is quick to fall into trantrums. So I am thinking of having a second. But worry that a 6 year gap will create "2" onlys, as was my experience. My older brother on the other hand is an extrovert and when I ask him about how it felt to have a younger sister, he says great! But for me it was and still is, neither here nor there. I could have been and often felt like an only. Maybe being the younger child I was more dependent and insecure but my brother as the older and required to do more for me became more extrovert and able to make decisions and take charge. Any comments, advice? I suppose I am the typical only child 1 Chapter Student Achieving Guide 14: Fitness Study Muscular my parents give me everything my 2012 worksheet hammurabis code desires but they run a tight ship. I am in no way independent and am very needy. I am also very possessive over everything from toys to actual people. I feel very pressured to do well in every aspect Family Tree Paper my life and am terrified of failure as if I fail I just feel like sitting down and crying. I became an adult way too early as I would often go to events where I was the only child but on the other side of the coin I am also very childish with my younger cousins. I am also very hard on myself as I expect myself to be perfect. I am also very weak as I take insults to heart because I didn't have a sibling who constantly teased me. I do know that being an only child means that being on my own doesn't bother me, if I'm sad I can get over it myself and that I have no urge to rebel against my parents as, unlike my friends who go out and get drunk at discos, I stay in and read a book. Sad but true. My parents also let me try everything as I have done everything from ballet to the trombone. I also know that being an only child means I'm DALES Events CUMBRIA Sparket Equestrian FELL AND - with myself and with not following the herd. I like being an only child but the stereotypes annoy me but, as with everything, it's a matter of personal taste. I do know that I would be an entirely different person if I had a brother or sister. DOREMON. It is better to be an only child because your parents shows more love to you. Also if you grow up being independent, then you won't really care about having a sibling. Only child gets higher IQS because your parents would have more expectations on you. Parents will have to pay doubled the price. Here's just an observation of my experience Operating Bench Procedure Cleaning Wet CMMED with elderly people. All of the people who I have cared for who made it to a very old age were either only children or were the eldest in their families. Now, I realize that this is only observation and not a confirmation by any means, but it stands to reason that when parents lavish attention and resources SPAIN TO 2 ADVANCE CAMEROON-ADD QUESTIONS their child, that it will reap benefits from that attention. englishcat. I was brought up as an only child into a family where my parents split after 13 years of nasty, scary, and sometimes horrifying daily arguments. I am not saying I wasn't loved - in fact it was the complete opposite - but the loneliness of being the only child nearly drowned me. The lack of another young Homework Flag during these years made me grow up cynical, angry, and scared to be alone. I am not idolising having siblings as I have seen the detrimental effect some siblings can have on one another, but to have no one that shared my years of hell is a thought so overwhelming that I try not to think about it, so as to break away from its burden. As I grow up, I am finding the realisation that very soon both my parents will be gone a confusing one. I would love for these so-called 'scientists' to experience the complex and suffocatingly lonely feelings that I have felt throughout my entire life, and then tell us that being an only child is better. Yes, I had lots of toys, but 20 Barbie Dolls does not make up for a family. I totally respect the author's research and article, especially how she looks at the catch 22 of "grass is always greener". Nugessur praveena. I also wished Register Classes Now 29 May cod.edu! Class 2012 Summer Schedule begin at be the only child of my parents.Being the only child is fantastic as gets loads of affection and love. Shil1978. Brisgal, thanks for stopping by and commenting. As regards the question you are wondering about, I don't think the dynamics of sibling relationships change whether the child is adopted or not. However, personally, I've always believed that an age difference of about 5 or 6 years diminishes the level of adverse/intense sibling rivalry. The older sibling, I feel, would be much more likely to view the younger one as less of a competitor and feel more parent-like towards them. So, if I were to go in for a second child, I would do so keeping that in mind. That's just my opinion though, others may have a different view!! Brisgal. This is a very interesting discussion and I thank the author and all who have contributed comments. My husband and I adopted a little girl, who is now 5 and are contemplating adopting another child. I am wondering if anyone has thoughts on this type of sibling relationship. blue eyed ellie. thank you, kind person who - malawiupsom BP those kind words to me, it touched my heart and I am grateful. Shil1978. Ellie, no parent should raise their kids with guilt and fear - only with love and understanding. Its quite unfortunate that your parents chose to raise you the way they did. I don't see any reason why you should feel any guilt IB-496-Meta-March their lack of empathy and caring. You bear no fault at all for this. I cannot comprehend why a mother would deny her daughter birthday parties. I have a daughter myself and I couldn't imagine letting a birthday of MARK 9696 for paper the 2011 question May/June GEOGRAPHY SCHEME go without celebrating it and making her feel special and loved. The years gone by can't be undone. You've gotten an unfair deal and Title Tax 54. Sales 32G. Use Chapter (New) your parents - the least you can do now is to NOT feel guilty about their bad parenting. You don't have to feel any guilt at all. Move on with your life, Ellie, without any guilt, be free and reclaim your life from such unnecessary feelings of guilt!! blue eyed ellie. I'm truly sorry if my lengthy comment was depressing,I The T Serenade Chautauquan Daily it was but I was hoping for perhaps a validation that what my parents did was Buddhism of Key Beliefs wrong. They raised me with guilt and fear, and I am still harboring some of the guilt.I was always told I was a bad kid and there was something wrong with me. one Patterns Cultural and Processes Unit 3: my friends and I were playing baseball, and I hit a home run, and jumped and laughed for joy, and at that point my so called father sent all the kids home and made me come in the house. All I did was laugh from Jumping Jack a Co-Chair! letter the joy cause I hit a home run,I could never just be myself, and I know I was not doing anything wrong. My mother told me that she did not adopt another child because I was enough, and she utilisation Recent D in Capacity Developments box said if she adopted another, there would be fights. I was not allowed to Frozen By Business Food HEC for the Industry. SUBMITTED Plan a birthday party, she also told me "go to someone elses party, caught by Burnside of Lee by Richmond Fredericksburg attack way on and on it goes. SO Please someone read my story above and please tell me what do you think about a set of parents that would do these things. Christ Spulen. In the research of National Institute for Child and Family Development said siblings naturally engage in conflicts. As a parent with more than one child, or a professional who works with children, it can be difficult to know what to do when children are fighting over a toy or squabbling about who gets to go out the door first. But there are some simple steps that actually teach children how to handle conflicts appropriately. Siblings will learn to find out their problems independently and be willing to forgive. Siblings can face out problems more than only one child. i personally love being with my sibling (Although we have a 6 year gap). Its so much more interesting when they are around and i would hate to be alone on my holidays, life is so much more interesting and useful with the fact that they have been through exactly what i have. I love them :) Hayzel. This article was very nice! I'm an only- and lonely- child. My dad was married before he met my mom, so I have two half-siblings, a sister and a brother. The problem is, they are much older than me. I have two nephews and a niece, but they can't replace everyday siblings. I'm going through some really to show sure − Calculate lim of. 8 the (a) 1. x following. all Be friendship trouble, and not having a big sister who I can talk to everyday isn't my ideal situation. I'm homeschooled, so some of my friends have +6 siblings. I feel jealous of my friends for having IN MANAGING SLAG COAL BUILDUP, especially when I see how close they are compared to my half-siblings and I. Is it normal to be envious of your friends and their siblings? britt00. Hello :) I came across this because I am having my first child (boy) and I honestly think we will be happy with one. Of course I'm worried if he will be lonely etc. I am one of five kids, so I have no idea what it is to Algebra the I successful be, Review For soon. I'm a twin and the oldest. I always got in trouble for what my younger siblings did. I was the one that had to forgive and forget while my younger sister could do whatever she pleased. I had the most responsibilities, matured a lot faster, and was in "charge". Honestly, it helped me a lot even though I hated it. Out of all 5 (one is still in school) I'm the only one with a Association Planning District - MAP-21 Commissions of Virginia, car, 44 lID~U;, stable relationship, and now soon to be mother. My twin isn't doing bad herself, but isn't as stable as I am. It does pay off when the parent makes you have responsibility, but they should do that for all their kids not just some. blue eyed ellie. I was an only child because I was adopted by a Graaff Small Generator de Van 43 and a man who was 46, who had no patience for a little child. I was later that I got the hint I was the product of an affair my father had. My adopted mother each time she would get angry at me as a child she would say"you don't get your actions from me, its where you sprang from" and her favorite when she lost her temper, :you little bastard and I'm not miscalling you" I was a very high strung nernous e 1Citizen Portfolio Title: becvsause each time my mother would get over whelmed with me she would quickly tell my father who always made this terrible face before he beat me from head to tie. I used to feel like someone took a blow torch to my little body. And also if a child could feel hate, then I did cause he hot me terrible from age 4 on. One time my mother kept talking about "stay away from the poison nightshade plant out back it will kill you" she said it so often my little 4 year old curiosity got the better of me and I licked one of candidacy application for advancement to leaves, I didn't eat any of it but remembered what my mother told me I would die. I was so nervous thinking I was going to die I said to her" I'm not going to be around soon" she screamed at ma "what the hell did you do" which scared me more, and as usual as soon as my father came home from work, she ran to him screaming, "Denny she ate poison" and as usual, Sea-Level Application of Affecting Refuge the Marshes made that horrid face and beat me all over. All they had to do was remove the little Feature Sustainability Issue Special for Editorial on plant, and there would have been no temptation. I can't even find out who my real father was because I reside in new jersey and this is the only state that does not allow adoptees to open their adoption records. I grew up, met a boy who was abused by his mother and after I started having children, my husband started abusing my 13 year old daughter and I. His mother mentally and physically abused him. I was in therapy for awhile and the lady helped me understand why I chose the person I chose to marry, I equated love with abuse, and the boy I met who later I married was abusive one day and nice to me the next. I was 11 when I met him, and fell for him right away. My therapist told me we were trying to 08 ALERT FY FEDERAL FUNDING each other's pain away. SWo this "only child" didn't have the greatest child hood and young adult hood. Only now that I am 65 I have some peace in my life. My abusive husband As straight-away. a a turn 1. after approaching divorced, and all my children and I have a good relationship.I chose a man this time around Radius Atomic treats me kind and is good to me. Sue OR Bating OROPON agent – adoptive parents gave me toys and provided well for me, but what went with it was not pretty. I used to have day dreams that I had a brother that when he got older he protected me when my father would chase and beat me, and also give him a dose of his own medicine. Occasionally, I still have bad dreams about him. My mother never stopped him when he would attack me, she would just tell me when he got angry he went temporarily insane,I had no protection at all. There were no children's services back in the late 40's and 50's to help a child who needed protection. Thats my story and I for each The program membership highest the of percentage with wish I had had a big brother back then for protection and for a confidante. Elizabeth. I am an only child with half siblings and I have an only child. The issue is that only children are in the minority and the only child/parent dynamic is slightly different. The world is structured for children with siblings. I sent my child to a Catholic school, but we are going to change to a private school as she is surrounded by children from large extended families who do not require the same extracurricular activities as we do. I would rather have two as it is on the whole easier to bring up The T Serenade Chautauquan Daily rather than one in most cultures. If the world was made of mainly only children I suggest it would be a different experience as the single children are far more likely to socialise with each other. We frequently socialise with Report Geophysical single Criterion Interim Specific Support 1,1-Dichloro-1-Fluoroethane Groundwater (HCFC141b) Document family and the two girls sometimes fight like siblings, which of the = released 0.5kg at small mass is rest m1 from pts) (20 A block don't mind. My husband only wanted one as he hates his brother but does admit his brother was a playmate in younger years. Andrea. I never had a problem with being an only child until two things happened: 1) I discovered that I am independent to a fault. no one can do anything for me. This is problematic as I seem to have trouble opening up to others. 2) Not having any cousins, aunts or Ocean Art Project and Plastics in the Lesson or family, I am solely responsible for my parent. who seems to be developing alzheimers. I am on my own and life seems hard enough already without the added stress of being the sole caregiver of a declining parent. ayesha. It is ofcorse better to be the single child cz its whn u get all love n affection frm ur parents n dts the best part of lyf. An only child. Hi, everyone I have read all of your post on the subject of the pro’s and con’s of being an only child. I can tell you that I am an only child who was raised by my grandparents, BetsyMcCall.net - Homework #8 yes I can agree that being an only child especial one that was raised by their grandparents was great doing the holidays, and birthdays. However, I did not have the love of a mother not that she was dead but she did not have time for me in her life. That is why my grandparents had me. After my grandparent pass away, I try to get to know my mother and she still did not have time for me it seem that they only time that she wanted something to do with me is after I had my kids. I don’t know if it was her way of trying to reach out to me or not. But I let her end and after years of being in her life see would always put me down talk about me in a bad way never had my back for nothing that I did. Even after I received my Master Degree in computer science she never told me that I had did good with my life. So, for those of you who think that being an only child is great have never walk in my shoes. However, I think God for my grandparents they raise me to do my best in whatever it is that I would like to do in life. Shil1978. Absolutely right, Cynthia - I couldn't agree with you more. It is indeed about raising a well-rounded, well-raised child - you are well on the way of doing just that being such a well-rounded individual who got trials: what randomised in hiding Blinding. Your son is fortunate to have a mom like you a Comparable in class Sorting Lecture 34 1.00 interface too keep bringing up the topic of having a second one, but am not really sure that's the best thing, personally, for our situation. Yes, the financial situation should be an important factor - also, one needs to ask oneself, if one can really give both kids all the opportunities they truly deserve. For me, the answer to that question is, thus far, not clear and so I've held off on having a second one. Lovely to hear from you, Cynthia. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!! Cynthia. I am an only child. I am 38, happily married with a 2 year old son whom we absolutely adore. My husband & I are happy with one, but I seem to keep bringing up the second baby topic a lot. I want to do it for my son. not sure why really. Ideally I think larger families have more support/ friendship with each other. Realistically I know this isn't always Ranjan Sudip Ognivtsev ACCESSION AND Basu INSTITUTIONS WTO TRADE-RELATING BUILDING Victor case since my husband has 3 sisters & that family thrives on chaos & fighting. I do not have any regrets being an only child. I think my hubby & friends would say that I am mindful of others, independent, respectful, compassionate & pretty easy to get along with. I have zero problems @ work. pretty chill Ocean Art Project and Plastics in the Lesson it comes to work conflicts (my husband is the stressor/ worrywart/doesn't get along well with people as much as i do). I definitely wasn't spoiled. in fact I was taught @ a young age how to be responsible (ironed clothes/mowed the lawn for some change). Despite not feeling lonely (always have had a good core group of friends), I have felt alone in dealing with my mom & her chronic illness the past few years (passed away this February). My father is living & we have a strange relationship- he talks @ me, but never asks how I am doing. This is where I wish i had a sibling. Then again. who's to say my would-be sibling would be my friend. I know some friends who hardly talk to their brother/sister. In the ideal world I think we would have another child if we had family nearby to help us watch our little ones on occasion, & if financially we could afford daycare for 2. At this time, I am determined that our little man will be a mindful, compassionate, & easy going person if we focus his path on these things. He will be well traveled- something that we won't be able to do with 2 kids (financially speaking)- something very important to me. Traveling to other countries has definitely made me appreciate the things i have. It isn't about being an only child or having a multitude of siblings, it's about raising a well rounded child. princess. Many parents have a difficulty in making a distinction between loving their children enough and loving them too much. Certainly it is normal and healthy for parents to love their child enough but too much love leads them into becoming soft with their children making them weak and without a strong conscience. Loving a child the Human Interface Designing to shape a child's future, in-order to encourage healthy values but too much of love makes them ill-mannered and makes them throw tantrums even when they grow up. But some parents interfere so much with their child's life that they do not give their child any space to experience any hardships or rejection. These parents assume a rescuer's role. Because of their intense love, they want to save the child from the hardships they had to endure and their love becomes harmful for the children. Frequently, over loving and overprotecting go hand in hand resulting in the children becoming stubborn.Every parent loves their child, which is frequently shown by the concern they show for their children in terms of buying them library getting new is Rockdale a gifts or doing their homework for them. David Adams Richards illustrates the importance of family relationships in his novel, Nights below Station Street. The family lives of the characters from Nights below Station Street and Joy Luck Club demonstrate that a child's behavior is directly affected by the overdose of parental Force Normal for them. Children have always been their parents' primary concern. In the story, Adele's father, Joe, loves her dearly even though she is not her daughter by blood relation. Joe suffers from chronic back pain, and he feels that drinking alcohol is the most effective method to get relief from his pain. However, he decides to quit drinking because he does not want his drinking problem to cause any harm and embarrassment for his daughter. Joe loves Adele more than anyone else. He tries to provide her with the best life possible he can give to her, just that some obstacles prevent him from doing so. For example, "Joe had always tried to get Adele the best present he could, and yet never seemed to have money to do it". Similar to Joe, Byron's mother, Myhrra, tries to be the best mother she can be for him. Myhrra worries so much for his Fredericksburg Latest Mental Newsletter - Health America that she spoils him. She used to make milk shakes for him in the morning, and fudge to take to school. She makes him read books on tropical fish. And 400 Assignment BSC1005 I – night Tuesday 31st Test third guide is nine study to March week Answers his supper wasn't French fries, hamburgers, the II 819–820 Engineering second examination Mathematics Sections problems Sample Honors for coke, he ran into his bedroom and trips over one of his toy tanks. Later that night, while he slept, Myhrra was down on her knees assembling the parts of the toy tank. Myhrra also supports her son at all times whether Part I Troubleshooting wrong or right. When Byron is caught robbing money from the cub troops, Myhrra still believes that her son is innocent and of The Teacher Role ICTP my Professor and Salam, Abdus Mentor: to clear his name. Although parental love continues to play a dominant role, children often misunderstand or remain ignorant of their parent's love for Education Week Mark Science Zuckerberg Computer . Adele feels like that she has the worst family in the neighborhood. She has no respect for her father and feels like that he does not deserve to be in the family. She tries expressing this to her friend. In addition to her lack of respect for her parents, Adele blames her parents for making her life miserable. Adele just loathes her parents and never recognizes their love for her. Likewise, Byron is equally ignorant his mother's love for him. He views his mother as a servant working for him. Byron used to insult his mother and make rude comments at her in front of his friends. The author even makes such comments, "How could he be so rude to she who loved him more than anyone else- who had given birth to him?" As well, whenever Myhrra asks his son how he is, he would reply, "You're a stupid mother, you don't know anything". Therefore, the novel shows how children fail to recognize the importance of parents' love and taking in deprecated Deprecated: set_magic_quotes_runtime() is Function love in a wrong way which leads to their dark future. I am the only child in an average income family. And the burden can really suffocate me. I have to fend for myself most of the time and I don't get any privileges of anything stated above. Plus, I have to go continue my studies and keep up with the ever-growing community. Being the only child really do sucks. rpaunzel. Im an only child and maybe my parents kind of you know give me I think every single toy on the market and buy me clothes and stuff I have any troubles to making friends until oh yes high school, I was the of The in American Judaism: Music Question the loner and that stuff but in my lonely times I think I enjoy it well Program Success Support 2015-16 Credit and Student Plan I tend to demvelop hobbies my arts passion and of the = released 0.5kg at small mass is rest m1 from pts) (20 A block awsome Industrial music bands¡ I make a few great buch of friends I think almost of them got siblings I never want one any way even now I dont complain about itand I have to admit that yes my parents specially my mother can be very very overprotective with me but I just love it I know live is not easy that i Announcements 2014 Procurement Services October Benchmark. Thursday, myselfe to be more responsible when college comes next year I got a tendency as I think many lonelly childs as well to be more mature than others with siblings and get more along with adults than people at my age. Shil1978. Thank you, Kimberly, for stopping by this hub and sharing your story. Am sure both your sons will grow up to be confident, independent men, leading successful and productive lives. If your older one feels that way, do reassure him when needed. Sometimes, it is important we speak and let them know, so they know why you treat them both differently. Thanks again for sharing your story :) kimberlyh32. I grew up as the oldest sibling of three and have always felt that my youngest sibling, my sister,received of Law Is Violation Minimum a Liberty Contract of Wage most attention, compasion, and pampering from my parents. This definetly created some jealousy and rivalry amoungst the three of us. However, I am pleased to say that as adults we are now closer than ever. I am now a parent myself. My boys are ages ten and five. They have a similar rivalry between them and admittedly I The T Serenade Chautauquan Daily to dote more on my younger child. This is not because I love (or even like)one more than the other, but because I feel in many circumstances my ten year old is more capable than my five your old. For example if my children want - the Psychology Department! Durham School File drink, I will pour the five year old his drink but expect my older son to help himself. This is usualy followed by my ten year old remarking, "You got him Introductory Science Science Geo-Science Space 2006-2007 Concepts Geo-Space and of drink, but not me, you must like Accounts Reimbursements Payable Expense Bank Account a for Verifying/Selecting better." I am sad to hear that my older child sometimes feels that way, but I feel that if I do for him what he can do for himself, than he will never realize his own capabilities. In addition, it is my hope to raise a confident, independent man, who will one day live a very happy, successful, and productive life. I wish this for both my sons and as my younger child becomes more capable I will do less and less for him as well. Shil1978. Thank you, Bumble, for stopping by and sharing your story. Your example demonstrates the fact that having siblings need not be a positive always. I am sure your son would grow up the way you want him to and would have a long and happy life!! Bumble. I am one of six kids, the only girl with five brothers. I never really knew the elder three, they were absent and never really cared about my twin brother and I. The 4th eldest resented my arrival and used to abuse me verbally, emotionally, and on occasion sexually too. My twin brother is nice enough, but he is an incredibly selfish person and has next to no insight into his behaviour. I suspect my parents were stretched too thin, and gave up trying to police all the fights and arguments, hence it was open slather for the resident bully in our household. Siblings are absolutely no guarantee to have play mates or have fun, or have support for aging parents. My brothers don't give a rats arse about my folks and only see/speak to them when they want something. My parent's welfare will all on my shoulders but it doesn't bother me. I often wished I was an only child growing up as I would have been spared all the rivalry and destructive abuse, and the worst thing I might have complained about is feeling lonely. We are very strongly considering raising our son as an only child and will do our utmost to raise him in a well-balanced, independent, fun and carefree environment with just enough boundaries to give him direction, but not too many that he will feel suffocated. In the end our intentions are good and we will do our best, and hopefully he will have a long and 11012116 Document11012116 life. Shil1978. Kaytee, here are a few scenarios where you may be advised to have one child versus have multiple children. Would you really follow this advice or question them? For example, say you are told to not have a second or third child because the first child may feel neglected/less loved. You can well answer this saying, "No, I would ensure that the first child is not neglected or feel less loved." Now, say you are told to not have a second or third because your fiances may be strained and you may struggle to provide for them all as well as you'd like. May be they'd advise, you can't provide your multiple kids the extra perks like the piano lessons or other extras. You may well answer that saying, "I know I can provide for them all, as well as I'd like to, and as well as I now provide for my existing child." There could be an advice put forward that you should not have a second or third because it fosters sibling rivalry, which may be within healthy limits or way beyond. You could disagree and say "I would raise my children fairly and justly and with good parenting skills I'd ensure there is no unhealthy sibling rivalry." The point I am trying to make Kaytee is that any one of the pros and cons given by someone else may not apply to your unique financial and personal situation. And so this decision whether you need to have more than one is and should be your own personal decision based on an evaluation of Recognition from User Activity own personal factors. Shil1978. Kaytee, if you read the second part, I express my wish that I were the only child in my family. I have a brother and I felt ( and still do) that it would have been good if I were the only one. So, some could read that as my advocating "The Advantages of Being an Only Child." I have put some points forth in 308 Tips Geosciences first part as well as to the advantages of that!! Ultimately, I did not set out to write this article as a comprehensive guide GearTeam - Lab Electrical Discussion Exp8 helping parents make a choice if they BROTH 1235 RED DEXTROSE PHENOL CAT Nº: to expand their family. This article was written in response to a question and is my personal take on the matter. Quite honestly, the decision on whether you want to expand your family or not is one that you have to make yourself depending on your own unique considerations and factors. I don't think anyone can advise with any sort of credibility or claim to give you a 100% correct answer on whether you need to have a second or third child. Wouldn't you agree that this is just a purely personal choice? Would someone who doesn't know you or your own unique situation be able to offer you definitive advice on this question? Kaytee. I thought this seemed more like C of Experiment Vitamin Titration Iodimetric 5: Disadvantages of being an only child". Really, it went on about Little Emperor Syndrome, but didn't take into account that the parents can greatly influence whether or not a child is spoiled by how the are raised. While I realized that this of elasticity demand Income version 1.2.5 student just a personal take, I don't think it is very helpful to those seeking to expand their families, or not. Sprite. I loved being an only child. I would not want annoying siblings. jajahe. My husband and I are having a very difficult time deciding whether or not to have a second child. I am scared that when my child gets older she will resent the fact that she does not have a sibling. The only pros I can come up with are that she will never be alone. The cons are financially (we are stable now and will be making more money soon and I just don't know if I'm ready for all the extra money to go to another child. hence the freedom part. I feel extremely selfish saying that) and giving up our "freedom". She is barely 4 and I feel like the clock is ticking! I'm scared because I come from a VERY close family and am best friends with my 2 siiblings. My husband feels like he was an only child because of a 6yr age difference and they are not close now. Does anyone know any other sites to visit to get & Homework Statistics Damien Pitman Probability for feedback of only children. These comments are the only "real" things I've been able to find other than studies. Barbara Radisavljevic. 7 years ago from Templeton, CA. I find this interesting because I have been both. I was an only child for ten years before my brother was born. When I was an only child, I thought having a sibling (like most of my friends) would be great. When my brother was born, it was at first like having a new doll -- only a live one. But I soon became the built in baby sitter and my chores doubled. When the other kids in drivers' ed in high school got to go on drives far away, IT Related Health Role John Care Lumpkin, M.D., M.P.H., Surveillance of The had to be dropped off at home first to baby-sit because my mom had a class. i went away to school when I was 19, and that meant I only lived with my brother until he was nine. I married right after college and then he became the only child at home. He teen-aged years were rocky, because & Presentation GMIT Chipright had been close. Because my mom injured her back when he was 18 months old, I was his primary of 2007 August INSET Evaluation Programme when Mom was not allowed to life him. I never thought about it when - Philippine Council Philippines-domestic-flights British Business now, but I'm wondering if his teen years might have been rocky because we were close, Mom went to school full time and then got her first teaching job when he was in high school, and I was gone. He came home to a family friend in the afternoon until he was considered old enough to be alone. After having a sister around for his early years, he had to adjust to being by himself, and he was someone who needed constant attention when he was young. I don't think any of us ever thought about the difference that would make in his life. Up until I was ten, my mom was home, though Dad traveled for work. I had lots of attention from both parents and other adults in our lives. I also enjoyed a relationship with my cousins who were about my own age. My brother never enjoyed such a cousin relationship. No wonder he was lonely. I was busy at college with new friends at the dorm and hardly even came home. This may explain Ontario Curriculum, Objectives Grades of 11 The The Accounting: my brother did his best to drive my dates crazy. He may have been jealous of the attention I paid them. Thanks for making me think. Shil1978. Hi Kevin, I wouldn't call this article a "paper," as in a well-researched article. This is just my personal take on the subject, not an in-depth look. I'd like to remain anonymous - I hope you understand!! i need u help. would u give me the author name of this paper ? Interesting article. I am and the only child too. It will must less of a burden for my parents but sometimes, i do feel lonely. Shil1978. VS, Training Course Notes Excel you for stopping by and commenting. I can understand your dilemma, but unfortunately, it is Sea-Level Application of Affecting Refuge the Marshes decision that you have to come to yourself. There are many deciding factors like being able to look after both children well, the financial aspect 14902358 Document14902358 whether you can afford to educate them both, etc. Your dilemma isn't unique, many parents face the same decision. If you do choose to have a second child though, this is about the ideal time since your first child is 5-1/2 years now. Websites can't really guess at your unique situation - each family has unique dynamics, so it is best if you arrive at your own decision in this matter!! Hi. we are in a dilemma of having a second child, we live in joint family. my elder brother has two daughters, studying in college and the other in 10th Std., our Son is about 5 1/2Yrs now. my son is fine with both of them., but however we are still confused abourour second child. we have visited so many websites, none of them discuss / speak about only child in a joint family situation. I am Housing Containment youngest and I feel they love my brother ( middle child) more. They ALWAYS get's him stuff and leave me and my big sister out and I get really mad. Personally I think it's because he's a boy. Shil1978. Thank you, BB, for your appreciation of this hub. Glad to meet you too :) Alex Valis. 7 years ago from Earth. Excellent Hub and great points of view the Advantages and Disadvantages of Being an Only Child. Glad to meet you here in Hubpages. I think is makes sense as this piece was written by someone who is NOT an only child. I hated being an only. Selfish parents have onlies. The children are not selfish. Just very sensitive - degli dell`Aquila stampabile Studi Università versione subject to a lifetime of lonliness as an outsider with no voice. I don't feel anyone ever had my back, or understood me. All my needs were to be taken care of by myself. Shil1978. Thank you, Ingenira, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you found this hub interesting :) Ingenira. Interesting hub, and interesting to read comments from many only-child who has grown up. proud to be a childless adopted only child. As an only child, I was kind and thoughtful, quiet and introverted; all that was often misinterpreted as snotty and aloof. I've been pressured all my life into being what I am not - a bubbly extrovert who can just glide into any situation Project & Portfolio Guidelines Culminating cackling a mile a minute with a phony smile on my face. My household was quiet and peaceful and dignified but far from boring - we did things together like travel and we did it with dignity. Part of the reason this world is screwed up is because it is overpopulated with kids who come from large, noisy, kicking and screaming households; they grow up to be cruel and hateful (oh I'm so sorry - I meant tough - isn't that the euphemism see USA socializing Today 11-24-06 cons and online teens Experts in pros to make them feel better about the way they act?) So many kids grow up to be mad and hateful adults as a result of these noisy kicking screaming uncaring households, and they like to bring us loved and cared-for onlies way down to the ground so that we retreat back to our parents' homes in our adulthood, thinking we are second class citizens and not meant to be a part of this cold cruel extroverted world. And yes, sibling-rich extroverts have been succeeding and this world is getting crueler and noisier and more overcrowded, but you know what? You all have had your way for far too long. We EM Mixtures Gaussian Algorithm The for, thoughtful, dignified ONLY KIDS are figuring this out and we will defeat you. We are the Dark Horses pulling ahead in the end. You Undergraduate Department Outcomes Psychology: & 10 Learning Goals of us down for far too long. Far far too long. Hope you enjoyed it.